Clinically Insane
by suspect tomatoes
Summary: How many WWE Superstars does it take to get Edge under the water? One-shot. Edge/OC, Miz/OC, Matt/OC.


**A/N: My mommy came for a visit. :) **

The sun was blazing. Adam could feel it burning down on his bare back – he was trying to read while everyone else was trying to dunk Mike in the water – but there was absolutely no shade anywhere, so the only option he had was to plop down in the middle of the sand and try to enjoy himself.

So far, mission unaccomplished.

Adam glared out at the glittering sea. All he had planned for today was taking Mack's parents out for breakfast since _her_ friends decided to trash his house a half an hour before they showed. But her parents ended up missing their flight, leaving them a whole day to kill until they flew in that night.

Well, guess what _MacKenzie _decided to do without even asking him?

Adam closed his eyes when someone kicked sand at his side.

"Get up, grizzly." A dripping MacKenzie fell down beside him, her dark, stringy hair curling and sandy. She looked like a surfer. "You're being an Angry Adam."

"I'm not angry." He turned the page. "I just want to read."

"You can read anytime." She attempted to close his book, laughing when he jerked away from her. "Adam, give me it!"

"No! You're going to get it wet!" He rolled away. "Stop it. Go back to your minions."

"My minions?" Mack stood up and looked down at him, her hands on her hips. "They're my friends, and they're yours too. Get up!"

"They're _not _my friends." Adam fell back and flopped the book onto his face. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Mack fell onto his lower half, straddling him when he grunted in pain. "Come on, Adam. Have some fun."

"No."

"_Please_?"

"I can't see you pouting so I can't concede."

Mack lifted the side of the book, sticking out her lower lip.

He closed his eyes. "No."

She sighed, slapping her wet hands against his chest. "Is it because you're self-conscious?"

He grimaced, his eyes still covered. "Self-conscious?"

"Yeah. Because everyone's been saying that you're fat."

Adam shot up and caught his book smoothly, his mouth open in a sneer. "I'm not self-conscious!"

"It's okay, Adam. I understand."

"MacKenzie, I am _not_ self-conscious."

"And you don't have to be! Matt has his shirt off, he's fatter than you are."

"I'm not fat!"

"That's right, honey." Mack kissed his forehead. "Now, come on. The water's great."

"Can't we just stay like this?" Adam put his hands on her hips. "I happen to like this position."

"That's too bad." Mack stood up, sliding away from him flirtatiously. "Get up, asshole. It's time to have some fun."

Adam sighed and watched Mack run off into the ocean, jumping up onto Matt's back. They fell into the water, practically colliding into Britt and Lucas, screaming and laughing at the top of their lungs.

He pursed his lips slightly. Maybe the water would do him some good. His skin was slowly turning a nice gold, but he could barely keep his eyes open. Heat always made him sleepy – the ocean might be refreshing.

He got up slowly and headed down to the surf, feeling the crisp breeze lift his heavy hair away from his face. Thank God he'd shaved that morning. Scruff would definitely had been a downer in that weather.

"Oh, _look_!" Britt whipped her hair back, slapping Matt on the tip of his nose. "It's Adam. He's finally decided to join us."

"Shut up." Adam pulled up his board shorts. "Where's Mack?"

"I – "

Adam stumbled back when Mike came bursting up from underneath the waves, sputtering and coughing water. He gasped for breath and looked around, glaring at the surf lapping around him.

Britt suppressed a giggle. "What's the matter with you?"

"Where'd they go?" Mike squinted at the shimmering water.

"Who?"

Adam frowned. "Mermaids?"

"No, not mermaids. Fucking – " He disappeared suddenly, his hand gripping for something to hold on to before he was gone.

Adam glanced at Britt. "Should we... Should we help him?"

"Um... " Britt held Lucas closer to her chest. "Is it the riptide?"

Matt took the dog from her.

"I don't know," Adam grumbled. He took a step closer.

Mike exploded out again, gripping at Adam's shoulders awkwardly. "Fuck! Hold onto me!"

"What? No!" Adam felt Mike get tugged, so he grabbed his arms. "What the hell's going on?"

"They – they – _shit_!" Mike shook his foot. "Get off me!"

"What's going _on_?"

MacKenzie and Ali appeared behind Mike, soaking wet and laughing breathlessly. "That was great!" Mack exclaimed.

"Yeah, he was so scared!"

"What?" Adam frowned at Mack. "What have you been doing?"

"They've been trying to drown me!" Mike looked up at Adam. "They've been pulling me under the water and then sitting on me!"

Adam grimaced. "MacKenzie... "

"Oh, lighten up, Adam." Mack grinned. "Or I'll do it to you."

"Mike's traumatized now." Adam patted his back. "You're okay, man."

Mike's fear slowly melted away from his face when he looked at his proximity to Adam. They were practically cradling each other. "Um... Maybe we should – "

"_Oh_!" Adam jumped back. "Wow. That's... "

"I need to go... " Mike flexed his muscles. "Uh... fix a car."

"Yeah. And I need to... " Adam paused awkwardly. "Go... chop some wood."

"Cuz you're a grizzly, man!" Mack grinned, squealing as she jumped in his arms. "You're not wet yet. Why aren't you wet?"

"Because I haven't gone in."

"Well, you need to get in, then." Mack pulled all of her weight down. "Get your hair wet, for Christ's sake."

"MacKenzie, you're exceptionally annoying today – _Ow_! _Ow, ow, ow_, stop! You're pulling my hair!"

"Then get in!"

"_MacKenzie_ – ow!" Adam growled and grabbed under her knees, flipping her away from him. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Fuck, she pulled my hair out practically."

"Stop being such a baby." Britt smacked his back. "Get your hair wet and she'll stop being a pain in your ass."

"I don't want to get my hair wet yet." Adam pushed its length back. "I gotta warm up for it."

"Warm up? This isn't a fucking triathlon." Britt gave him a good shove. "Dive in, ya pussy."

"Get off my back, Britt."

Ali frowned, pushing her wet hair back. "She's not on your back."

Adam rolled his eyes. "I meant – "

"BA DUN TISH."

Adam ran a hand down his face. "I'm going back on shore."

"What!" Britt grabbed his arm. "No way, Jose."

"I don't speak Spanish."

Ali hesitated, looking between the two. "Ba dun tish."

"Shut up, Ali," Adam growled.

"Hey, don't fucking talk to her like that." Mike pushed Adam. "I'll kick your ass!"

"It'd be a first." Adam nudged him back. "Go crow at the sunrise."

"Go bobble your head some more!"

"Go be second best to Morrison, you chumpstain."

"Go be second best to _Big Show_, you loser."

Adam glared at Mike.

Mike smiled. "I won, you – "

Adam cracked his hand across Mike's face so fast, Mike actually spun around and toppled into Ali. They both crashed into the water.

An awkward silence settled over the three.

"Dude."

Adam closed his eyes and sighed. "_What_?"

"Did you just... " Britt paused. "Did you just _bitch slap_ Mike?"

"Yes. I just bitch slapped Mike." Adam turned. "Can I go now?"

"Go where?"

"To the shore."

Britt frowned, looking around. "Where's Mack?"

"I don't... " Adam stopped. He'd thrown her in the water nearly five minutes ago. "Where is she?"

"I just asked you that, asshole."

Adam bit his thumbnail, moving slightly. "Is she playing a trick?"

Britt's eyes glazed over. "I don't know."

"Jesus Christ." Matt pushed Lucas back into Britt's arms. "If you two are gonna be retarded about this, I'm gonna look for her."

"Hey!" Adam shielded himself with his arms when Matt's dive splashed up at him. "He can't go looking for my girlfriend!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'll look like a chump!"

"When you're with Matt, you generally do."

Adam lifted his hand. "I'd push you so hard right now if you didn't have his fucking dog in your arms."

Britt grinned and pushed Lucas's damp fur against her face. "Little _Lew_cas saves the day again."

"_Please_ don't talk like him." Adam shook his head. "It isn't becoming."

Britt rolled her eyes. "Are you just gonna leave Matt up for the job of saving your girlfriend, or are you going to look for her yourself?"

"I – " Adam glanced over when Mike and Ali resurfaced. "Did you see Mack down there?"

"Down where?"

Adam blinked. "Under there."

"Under where?" Ali snorted. "Ha. Ba dun tish!"

Adam groaned. "Jesus _Christ_, why does she associate with you people?"

"Because if she didn't, she'd have to hang out with _you_." Britt punched his shoulder. "Go under and find her!"

"Is Mack missing?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Britt rolled her eyes. "And Matt went to look for her."

"_Matt_?" Mike glanced at Adam. "Pussy."

"Shut up!" Adam gripped his hair. "Jesus Christ. Where is she? What if she got carried out to sea or stuck under a rock or something?"

Britt held back a laugh.

"I'm serious! She could be hurt or dead, and the last thing I said to her was – " Adam flailed his arms and flipped back, disappearing underneath the frothy waves.

Mack popped out of the water, grinning. "Got his hair wet."

Matt came up beside her and ran his hand over his head. He nudged Mack with his elbow. "Good job. You really had him nervous."

"I know, right?" Mack stood up. "Did you guys fool him?"

"I think," Britt looked at Ali. "Did you think we fooled him?"

Ali frowned. "We were playing a joke?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Ali shrugged. "Yeah."

Adam came up loudly, practically wind-milling his arms through the waves, and looked around when he heard the cacophonic sounds of laughter. He pushed his soppy hair out of his face and blinked at Mack. "You – "

"Hi, babe." She waved daintily at him. "How's the water?"

Adam just glared at her. "_Wet_."

It was silent for a second or two.

Ali laughed. "Ba dun tish."

**A/N: Well, there you go. Review.**


End file.
